If I learn to suffer well,
I won't make others suffer.
Jesus shows us how to suffer,
to embrace the pain of being human.
Thus the beauty of the incarnation.
If you learn the art of suffering well,
those around you will suffer less.
This is not to discount
the reality of suffering and pain.
This means no longer running from it,
instead, meeting it head on,
acknowledging it,
understanding it,
accepting it as your own,
and no one else's,
no longer projecting it onto others.
We are human,
and therefore we know pain--
physical pain,
emotional pain,
mental pain--
depression,
anger,
fear.
If you don't learn to suffer well,
you make others suffer unnecessarily.
How does one "suffer well"?
It takes courage.
You will need to find your own path
into,
through,
and with
pain,
but for me it means:
I stop masquerading that all is well when it isn't.
I don't "man up," "buck up" or in any other way
try to pretend things are fine
when they're not.
I don't exaggerate my suffering
to gain sympathy,
and I answer honestly
when someone who cares for me
asks how I'm doing.
I don't blame others for my suffering.
I don't take out my frustration on others.
I ask for help--
be it from family members, friends,
my spouse, a doctor, or a therapist--
when I need it.
I let go of the illusion
that I am self-sufficient
and can go it alone.
My essential self--
that God-in-and-with-me self--
can handle all suffering, pain, anxiety
if and when I am in touch with that self
and living from it.
Your essential self is the same.
Suffer well
so others suffer less.
You will find that you suffer less as well.
Text and image © 2020 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.
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