"Peace be with you," we say,
and we mean it--in our own way, our own time--
but imagine what those words might mean
to the grieving, fearful followers of Jesus,
struggling to deal with tremendous loss,
cowering together against arrest, punishment...even death.
Peace?
Seriously?
Sure, they'd heard the rumors,
but could he really be alive?
Or was it wishful thinking,
fueled by disappointment, by grief?
But, damn, if he isn't standing there
in the middle of the room,
the room with the bolted door.
How did he even know where they were?
Ghost?
Hallucination?
Certainly not your normal human--
something different,
something previously unknown,
something that walks through walls,
willfully appears and disappears--
yet...yet still him.
Jaws drop,
eyes bulge,
breath is held,
credibility stretches...
Thomas, late to the party,
too late to see and hear and believe:
"I don't think so--
show me the wounds,
let me hold him.
No, I'm not convinced."
Thomas the doubter.
He has not seen;
he will not believe until he does.
Do we blame him?
Jesus does not.
Doubt isn't an obstacle to faith;
it's healthy, natural, human.
Let us stand with Thomas,
cheer him on,
continue, with him, to wonder and seek.
Do not condemn doubt,
yours or anyone else's.
Jesus ends this mind-boggling visit with:
"Blessed are those
who have not seen
and yet have come to believe"
(doubts and all).
That is us, after all.
I have not seen,
but I have come to believe.
One day, I suspect,
he'll show up, unannounced,
in the center of my life--
despite the locks on my doors,
the latches on my windows,
my carefully (fearfully?) set alarm--
wounds still open in hands and side,
and say to me, too:
"Peace be with you."
Yes, peace be with me.
His peace.
Peace I will struggle to understand.
This Eastertide,
peace be with us all.

Text and image © 2022 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.
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